The Real Cause of Addiction (Part 1)

The Real Cause of Addiction is a Dis-Ease about Loneliness.  It’s not about changing our minds. It’s about changing our hearts!

Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. The wisest sentence of the twentieth century was E.M. Forster’s — “only connect.” But we have created an environment and a culture that cut us off from connection, or offer only the parody of it offered by the Internet. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in the way we live — constantly directing our gaze towards the next shiny object we should buy, rather than the human beings all around us.

I say let’s stop talking about addiction altogether and instead let’s call it bonding. Basically someone addicted to heroin is addicted because he/she couldn’t bond as fully with anything else. Yes, self love is important and there is this other phenomenon out there that says we are unable to love anyone else, unless we love ourselves first. I do not believe in this. I believe love of self and others come from loving each other.

The opposite of being clean or being sober is “human connection.”
All my life my beliefs about addiction came from my parents, teachers, government, employers, co-workers, peers, etc. However inside of me, inside my soul I have always been my own “guru” of what addiction is and how it impa
cted my life.

One of my earliest memories from my own experience of addiction was this knawing feeling in my soul of not knowing where my “true home” is and therefore I guess addiction felt like home to me.

What causes some people to become absorbed on a drug or behavior until they can’t stop? How can we help people to come back to us?

If someone asked me what causes drug addiction when I was a kid, I would have said “from drinking too much alcohol.” I had seen this my whole life. I assumed that once someone starts drinking too much alcohol and every single day that they were trailer park hippies that didn’t know any better and they liked to party. I didn’t understand the “ferocious craving” thing that happens when the body reacts and screams for the chemical.